Rob's Testimony

COMMUNITY

Each of us have a special journey in life, we may not think it. I was raised a Catholic, but it was searching for more. I rememeber in my last school year being confronted with the mess of the world. I prayed and had a sense that community is the answer. That the break down of relationships and families are due to our own inner breakdown. But that the support of others can heal. That in community we have not only the means to heal but also the solution itself. But I was missing something, I was missing a community.

THE SEARCH.....AND FINDING.....

When I was studying Enginneering at Melbourne University, I began a deeper search. I began to ask more questions , go to different groups. My girlfriend said that Jesus was real, that he could change my life. For me all my serching led me to realise I couldn't change my life on my own. Infact I was like a small child locked in a dark room. I couldn't breakfree no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't change this inner feeling of emptiness and couldn't seem to change some of the things I did. I was with Suzan on her parents property and I told her just be with me, don't say anything. I surrendered to God within myself. I felt as if the floor of that room fell away, and I fell into nothingness. I cried. Something changed, I felt different. When I got home, I got out my old school bible and began to read. I felt a flood of joy come over me as I read. I read the bit about looking but not finding, reading but not understanding, but for you are granted the secrets of the kingdom of God. Wow he is reveling the secrets of God to me. I read the bit about a treasure in a field, that the man who found that treasure sold everything to buy that field. I had found that treasure, and from then on I changed my life to keep that treasure.

I went through a conversion. I had surrendered as Jesus did on the cross, and died to my old life. I fell just as Jesus fell from the cross. I was changed and spent some time in the tomb with Jesus being transformed, then I felt the power of the resurrection.

Somethings in my life changed, others didn't. But I became a new man.

CHANGES....WHERE TO NOW..... PRIESTHOOD? ....MARRIAGE?

The Catholics didn't understand my expereince, but the Pentacostals did. So for a while I was still searching. My Father introduced my to Fr. Vic Farrugia, who is a charismatic priest. He prayed with me and I found a deeper release from some occult practices in my past. I found great strength in the Rosary, and the Eucharist. As I continued to deepen, I shared with some of my friends and we formed a prayer group. I wanted to be a Charismatic priest. I visited some groups overseas, but came back to find one had started in Melbourne. The Disciples of Jesus Covenant community. Within the Disciples are the Missionaries of God's Love, a new order of priests, brothers and sisters. I joined for two years. After six months I felt the Lord revealing to me my need for a "young female mate" (as I put it in my diary). But I "surrendered that need" because I was gong to be celibate, I was going to be a priest. I learnt the hard way. I didn't listen. I left burnt out and came home. I began a bachelor of theology and supported myself as I tried to understand discernent and vocation and what was my vocation. In third year I began to feel a desire for marriage; that I could love a woman, that she could love me, that we could have kids, etc. Every week something new. I could not ignore it. I fnally accepted I was called to marriage. But who....?

JULIE

I liked a particular woman in my community, but after some trial romancing, it was clearly stated it was not to be. so I waited. I waited for whoever she may be.

Julie was in our community in a household near by. We had gotten to know each other one weekend when we went fourwheel driving in my little subaru. Up a dirt track in the middle of the night we were about 20kms from anyone and this track was mightier than my car. We almost rolled trying to get down. This was probably our first unoffical date. We had a ball.

I had organised another trip this time to the coast. Others decided to leave early, leaving us alone for 3 days. We prayed a lot and talked a lot and sang. But it was not until later... Julie came round for night prayer on Monday. During that prayer, I felt her love for me. It was so deep! It got below my own love for myself. I was confused. I hardly slept that night and in the morning I dismissed it.

On Friday evening I bumped into her. She said we hadn't talked much lately. I cried. We hugged. I knew. I said wait here. I collected a blanket, some port and a torch. I took her to a cliff overlooking the sea. The moon was surrounded by soft cloud. The waves gently lapping. The city and bay glistening. I asked her out. We kissed.

MARRIAGE

We are very happily married. Our ring is a Russian wedding ring which has three rings. On the rose gold is a J, on the white gold is a R and on the gold gold is a cross. That says it all for us. You three up there bless us and anyone reading this down here.